A Letter to Santa

Dear Santa,

I've been a good dog this year. The best, really. So come Christmas morning, I expect to find everything on this list under the tree.

• A new stuffed toy (because I chewed a hole in my last one, and the humans took it away)
• A new antler (because I broke off a huge chunk of my last one, and the humans took it away)
• A new Nylabone (because I chewed a hole in my last one, and guess what the humans did?)

In addition, maybe you could take away some of these things, since I don't need them.

• My crate (the world is my crate)
• My head collar and leash (they prevent me from chasing rabbits and eating trash)
• My sister Mushroom (I'd like a new brother or sister that likes to play and doesn't steal my toys)

We don't have a chimney, so I'll leave the balcony door unlocked for you. We don't have a tree either, but you can just drop my presents off in front of my crate. I'll set out some Milkbones, but I can't guarantee that I Mushroom won't eat them first.

Thanks and merry Christmas,

Badger

P.S. Mushroom wants me to tell you that she wants all the other doggies in the shelters and rescues to find their forever homes. What a silly wish. You should probably just get her a lump of coal instead.

I'll be watching you